I came into this world with a knowing.
Not taught, not found, just there.
No beginning, no reason, no proof.
A current running through me, light and free.
They tried to shake it loose.
Told me the world was built a certain way,
that life was a map with a single route.
I held my ground, stood firm, never wavered.
I knew.
But then,
The world moved around me.
Shifted my code when I wasn’t looking.
Some of my knowings, I began to deny.
Still, some truths never faltered.
I knew I would leave.
This place was never mine to stay.
It was where I began, but never where I belonged.
I had to go and find my home.
I knew the world would not look the same
when I was older
that the sky would stretch wider,
the ground would shake,
the old rules would crumble into dust.
I knew then that I am a collection of exceptions.
A paradox in human form.
A blueprint drawn outside the lines.
There was a constant war inside me
between the longing to belong
and the quiet thrill of knowing I never could.
I secretly loved it.
Because even in isolation, I was feeling something real.
Because what they accepted as life would never have made me feel alive.
Existing without living.
Surviving without thriving.
An empty shell, moving through the motions.
And I could never be that.
I knew I wasn’t meant to get up, go to work,
buy a house, settle into routine,
trade my fire for security.
I wasn’t made for a life that required
me to silence what I am.
And I knew,
I knew there was something inside me,
a box I could not open,
its contents unknown,
but always revealing itself in fragments.
Pieces of the puzzle appearing in the most unexpected ways,
reminding me that I wasn’t finding it,
I was remembering it.
And then, He appeared like Candyman
within the depths of my mind,
as if summoned, yet uninvited.
Another anomaly.
Another exception to the rule.
Another soul that refused to compromise
for anything less than truth.
Him, who understands the impossible balance
rooted yet untamed,
secure yet free,
independent yet deeply entwined.
never wanted to choose between
adventure and stability,
between my soul and love.
I knew what I wanted was rare,
a contradiction not easily matched.
And then I felt him
a force too strong to let me settle.
Him, whose mind moves like mine,
whose heart holds the same fire.
He knows what I can’t explain.
I feel what he can’t put into words.
And then I saw him,
only in the quiet of my mind,
and felt him ignite the fire of my heart.
White t-shirt,
black trousers
tucked in, deliberate.
A vision before he was real.
No face, just a presence,
tattooed onto my mind before
the world had the chance to introduce us.
Him, who lingers in the edges of my knowing.
Who waits where the sky meets the sea.
Who holds me at sunset, arms steady,
while I let my mind drift beyond the horizon.
The anchor that lets me fly without drifting.
Him, who appeared in my fantasy, annoyed,
asking if I’m done pretending to be me
so he can finally come in.
Him, whose white t-shirt still carries the trace of my makeup,
I realise it too late pull back, eyes wide, panic rising.
But he just smiles, soft and steady,
looking at me with those deep brown eyes
“You could never ruin it”
Wasn’t convinced he was only talking about the t shirt.
Him, who is both wildfire and home,
a force I could never control,
but never fear losing.
Who pulls me closer,
bites his bottom lip,
and looks at me as if the fire in his chest
only burns to guide me toward the truth of who I am.
His essence is overwhelming, commanding,
a force of nature, able to bend the world to his will.
But under the soft glow of the full moon,
he seems almost otherworldly,
his fire unites with mine.
He looks at me like, surrendering everything,
like he’s dissolving,
giving me every piece of himself,
risking it all in my hands.
And when the universe aligns,
I’ll cherish this surrender,
and guard it against an army.
Leaving room for only one question ...
Who’s car are we gonna take?
People worship his presence.
They turn their heads when he walks into a room,
stand in awe of the way he moves,
drawn to something they can’t name,
unable to look away.
But in our world,
he pulls faces at me in the mirror,
sinks under the covers with me,
turning lazy mornings into adventures,
making the simplest touch burn with desire,
igniting everything between us once more.
He sings offbeat just to make me laugh,
makes sunsets feel like rituals,
turns silence into a love song.
We turn lovemaking into the Big Bang.
I crave his weight when he’s not on top of me.
The world sees an icon.
I see my fire in a different body.
Walking his path as I walk mine,
side by side, intertwined
our souls holding hands.
He is the embodiment of my sunsets
the warm tropical breeze as the sun melts into the sea,
as if the universe is wrapping itself around me
in the strongest, yet weightless hug.
Maybe he’s searching for me too
somewhere by the sea,
beyond the horizon,
also feeling the pull of something he can’t name.
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