The only difference?
Their world’s reactions to them: Obsessive Infatuation vs Judgment
So, let’s talk about Pete Davidson’s Bupkis and how, based on the trailer alone (cos that’s all we need tbh), it appears to be the bro version of Phoebe Waller Bridge’s Fleabag AKA The Masters of hiding in Plain Sight.
People are all we got.
At first glance, Bupkis and Fleabag may seem like two completely different shows. Bupkis is a fictionalised show based on Pete Davidson’s life while Fleabag is a British show that revolves around a young woman, played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, as she navigates her way through life in London.
But oddly enough, the shows share two common themes — The exploration of thoughts and reasons behind destructive patterns through a behavior that is deemed to be unconventional by society, and how the world reacts to it. (By “world”, I mean their fictional world, not the audience of the show. I’d argue it’s basically the same thing but we’re not having that conversation.)
We don’t have to wait for the Bupkis premiere to confidently say that both characters have a tendency towards destructive behavior and a knack for deflecting their pain and trauma through sarcasm, humor, and wit. They also have what most class as modern-day bravery, the ability to say what they really really think in the moment, regardless of who is standing in front of them.
Either everyone feels like this a little bit and they’re just not talking about it or I am completely fucking alone.
As we follow them through their journey of self-healing, we witness ridiculous, funny, and embarrassing moments. And since we know that both creators have drawn stories from personal experiences, it’s safe to say we are fully invested.
We find them incredibly relatable and authentic and sometimes, as an audience, we even feel seen because we recognize tiny, blink-and-you-miss-it moments within ourselves. Those traits, feelings or urges we try to keep in the dark, so deep we don’t even acknowledge them anymore, we now see them on the screen, taking centre stage, staring back at us.
The shows feel grounded in reality, even when they veer into more surreal or comedic territory, almost giving us permission to no longer fear our authenticity. It’s almost as if their entire mission is to take control by exposing and normalizing raw human emotions that others consider unconventional, in an attempt to make people lose interest in their cause, allowing them to finally just live their lives in peace.
Same Same No. 1 — They don’t even know what they’re doing that’s so different
Both Fleabag and (fictional) Pete are outcasts and due to their destructive behavior and inability to conform to societal norms, they are not always understood by the ones around them, and the world in general. However, their intuition, and ability to act on their feelings, regardless of the consequences, is a key aspect of their character.
They are unapologetically themselves, even if that makes their lives harder. Their refusal to conform to expectations and commitment to follow their own desires is what sets them apart and makes them complex and compelling characters.
As I see it, the deepest form of connection between these two characters is that they don’t even know what it is that they’re doing that’s so different. They are unaware of what sets them apart or causes conflict. They are simply being themselves and seeking to blend in, yet they constantly attract attention.
Same Same No. 2 — Open but not vulnerable
As characters, they both seem to possess an inherent sense of vulnerability, as they are known to be open with those around them. However, their openness is limited to matters that they have already dealt with or do not feel a genuine connection towards. When asked questions, they either respond in an honest tone or deflect with humor. As a result, people around them think they have a deep understanding of them and a true sense of knowing when in fact, they do not.
Based on this illusion of intimacy, our beloved characters’ relationships can vary from those where people feel an intimate connection, to those where people are more inclined to judge and be less curious.
Consciously or not, the belief is, if you give people enough to feel you have let them in by sharing pieces you are comfortable with, they most likely will not ask for more, therefore you don’t have to deal with or share your innermost scary thoughts and trauma with yourself or anyone.
The lesson our characters are learning is that letting yourself in is the key to connection and true happiness. Hiding in plain sight will only give the impression of peace but you will be stuck in a cycle till you go through it.
Same Same No. 3 — Natural state of existence
The shows introduced us to two people struggling to deal with their emotions in a healthy way. The only thing they are not afraid of is to be themselves, even if sometimes it means they can be a little messy.
Their natural state of existence and refusal to conform sets them apart from the norm of society, making them an outcast. In a world where we’re often expected to put on a front and be perfect all the time, Fleabag and (fiction) Pete show us that it’s okay to be flawed. It’s our flaws that make us feel connected.
People make mistakes. That’s why they put rubbers on the end of pencils.
Same same but different — How does their world react to their behaviour?
With either obsessive infatuation or judgement.
The message here is not that women have it worse than men, but that they are treated differently by their society because of their gender. Both crush your spirit tho, so there’s that.
When someone does not act as they’re expected to, it can be either inspiring or threatening to the world. While some may find inspiration in these individuals, others may view them as a threat or a challenge to their own beliefs and values.
The people around them take what they see and combine it with their own personal experiences and biases, resulting in two different reactions: obsessive infatuation or judgement.
Obsessive Infatuation: Fictional Pete
Even from the short trailer, it’s easy to spot that his quirky and unconventional behavior has gathered a large following, particularly among women. He has also met a lot of criticism and judgement from some, who see his behavior and jokes as disrespectful or inappropriate.
Putting aside the obsession of his fan base, it is important to note that the show covers the real events of media exploitation. His struggles, physical appearance, and relationships have all been fodder for tabloid headlines. The show teases to refer to moments of invasion of privacy and public humiliation, and the true and real damaging effect these have had on him and those around him.
These media moments reflect a broader infatuation with celebrity culture that dehumanizes individuals, resulting in obsessive fan bases (hello Swarm!), which in turn fuels tabloid exploration, because of oh well, capitalism. Not to mention, it can turn people into a target, making them vulnerable to exploitation.
Two words: Caroline Flack.
It’s important to mention that this culture can be particularly damaging for men who are genuine and caring, as the media often portrays vulnerability and emotional openness as weakness rather than strength.
Although I appreciate the originality of behaviors such as fictional Pete, it is important to recognize why it is considered novel in the entertainment industry. People are not accustomed to seeing genuine, kind, and ordinary individuals in a celebrity world that often appears fake and unrealistic. It seems that individuals must rid themselves of what makes them unique, present a flawless image, and conform to whatever image or values are dictated by whatever bullshit standards by some bullshit people with the illusion of power and control.
Generally speaking, people in this world strive so hard to “make it” that they deny their own authentic selves so they can fit into this controlling environment. When someone who seems liberated but is actually simply trying to figure out their life comes along, people and the media become obsessed and try to tear them down to their toxic level.
I think we should be focusing more on changing the culture and unrealistic expectations rather than exploiting and obsessing over those who just happen to be normal people who love doing a job.
Judgement: Fleabag
Fleabag’s character challenges gender roles and expectations through her sexual promiscuity, irreverent humor, and disregard for societal conventions. While she is praised for her honesty and humor, she also faces criticism for her frank and often abrasive personality, particularly from those who view her actions as immoral or promiscuous.
These critiques reflect broader societal biases against women who are sexually empowered or outspoken, and demonstrate some of the challenges that women face in being true to themselves and asserting their voices in a world that often views them as threatening or difficult.
Women who choose to act differently or too freely can be marginalized in society, seen as threatening or challenging to the status quo. Fleabag’s behavior and her willingness to challenge societal expectations make her a target of judgment and criticism. Among other things, her character represents the struggle many women face in finding their place in a world that often demands conformity and compliance.
Existence precedes essence
Overall, these two characters are a refreshing example of “Existence precedes essence.” They and their creators serve as a reminder that, no matter how deeply conditioned our societies, families, or values may be, it is never too late to embark on a journey of self-discovery, align with our true selves and be ourselves in every moment.
By figuring out who we are and living in a way that is true to ourselves, we give our lives purpose. There is no predetermined way of being; we create our own essence.
Of course, we live in a complex world. There is trauma, insecurity, racism, inequality, extreme religion, abandonment, and capitalism, which can trap people in destructive cycles and kill their spirit. Life is a series of trial and error, and we’re not getting out of here alive. Wouldn’t you rather die by your own sword?
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